I am in self indulgent mood this weekend. Barely days into this new year and I can feel my sense of 'bleurgh-ness' creeping back into the dusty corners of my mind.
Perhaps I should join the Gym or buy a minor celebrities exercise DVD? I can just see me going for the burn in the comfort of my own living room. Yes indeed.
I haven't made any New Years resolutions. Well not really. I think I have come up with a "To do..." list for 2008. See what you think:
- Have more sex - which as a 30 something male should come as no surprise to you
- Be nicer to other Gays - it's not really their fault they annoy me.
- Try to spend less money on things that only make me happy for 15 minutes
Hardly a particularly enlightened list is it?
But I'm not really a fan of all this desperate soul searching and self-improvement. I think it is highly unlikely that many people can actually improve themselves that much.
As somebody wiser than me once said "You can't polish a turd...".
Wise words indeed.
Everybody is on a diet that they'll only manage to maintain for about month - for goodness sake January is depressing enough without denying yourself the twin pleasures of Alcomohol and Food.
And I'm quite happy to give into my cravings for both. Throw in sex and cigarettes (the latter to which I've never fully committed) and I am a happy little piglet.
Talking of sex. Why is it that when you aren't having any it seems the rest of the world suddenly discovers what their peopleparts are for? I'd have a longer whinge about the ache in my loins if I didn't think it would put you off your lunch.
Needless to say as a committed homosexualist I am feeling the societal pressure to live up to the stereotype of my kind. If I'm not more diligent I'm sure somebody is going to come and take me Gay Licence away. I mean it's alright for you straight types but in my world there are stringent quotas and I'm under performing in every category.
Multi-way felch marathon anybody?
No. Didn't think so.
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